The Elf on the Shelf is what you make it. And sometimes you might just choose to make it a bad Elf on the Shelf. Because sure, you could leave it as a creepy figure watching innocently from a corner and not doing much of anything. But you already have your Uncle Rooney for that.
The original idea behind the perched elf is that it acts as Santa’s eyes and ears to keep kiddos on their best behavior. But many people take a more creative license with their elves, making goofy scenes around the character instead of having them just sit on the shelf.
Although plenty of displays can be kid friendly, many elves can end up in…we’ll say, precarious positions, both physically and morally. And just as well. The adults should have a little fun around the holidays, too!
It’s not like the kids are paying for the toys, anyway. Or anything. What a bunch of freeloaders.
The 20 Funniest Ideas for a Bad Elf on the Shelf
1. Zombie Strip Club Elf
To be fair, who hasn’t had a sex dream about Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy? The best part is that this elf looks like he’s sitting on a jar of baby food. Sometimes you just have to hit the clubs on the way back from running errands!
2. Magic Dust
The vacant stare says it all. “Bro. You would not believe the line(s) to see Santa.”
3. Knotty List
It’d be a real shame to let that boy scout knot-tying training go to waste, wouldn’t it?
4. Hershey’s Kisses
Serves Santa right for thinking he can break into people’s homes and just take their cookies.
5. Urine Trouble
Don’t ask why the martini tastes like asparagus, okay?
6. Minnie’s Murder
When customers are highly dissatisfied with the prices of Dole Whip.
7. World’s Collie
Christmas is about coming together, even the worlds of Marvel and DC!
8. Railroad Problem
Nothing like sitting around the fire, drinking hot coco with the family, and using Elf on the Shelf to springboard a heated philosophical discussion stemming from The Railroad Problem.
9. Elf on the Top Shelf
We mean, what kind of “shelf” was never really specified, was it?
10. That 9 to 5 Grind
Sometimes a little chit-chat at the water cooler just isn’t enough to take the stress away.
11. Silence of the Lambs Elf on the Shelf
That dry winter air makes putting lotion on the skin even more important.
12. Waste of Marshmallows
We like to think that this is a result of a woeful misunderstanding of the conversation, “What do you want to do to celebrate the holidays?” “I dunno, let’s just spitball.”
13. Bent Over Elf on the Shelf
Don’t you ever knock? Jeez.
14. Let It Snow
You see, kids, you have to be very careful when wishing for a white Christmas…
15. It’s a D*ck in a Box!
The Lonely Island would be so proud.
16. Strip Poker
Wait, does this mean that the elf is really good at poker?
17. Blame It On Global Warming
Frosty has “forgotten” a holiday potluck dish for the last dang time. “But I brought the ice!” Very funny, Frosty. Where’s that casserole you promised?!
18. Branching Out
Really nice to see Elves branching out of the typical toy maker careers. We’re really rooting for the aspiring filmmakers out there!
19. Trashman Elf on the Shelf
What? Santa’s workshop doesn’t have a garbage disposal!
20. Belted Outfits Are In
Extremely important to always wear your seatbelt. Especially when you’re in for a wild ride…
— CalExotics (@CalExotics) December 23, 2021
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