In case the incessant “All I Want for Christmas” playing overhead hasn’t clued you in, it’s holiday season. No doubt you’ve begun your shopping, looking everywhere for just the perfect thing — the best ugly Christmas sweater.
Everyone’s notion of what makes for a good one is different, but one thing is clear: gold tinsel FTW. All the same, we’ve found a few non-tinsel’d options. If you can’t decide on just one, stock up — there are 12 days to this holiday, after all. And they all pair really well with these tacky Christmas party ideas.
The 21 Best Ugly Christmas Sweaters
1. Christmas Vacation Ugly Sweater, $45
This Christmas sweater is fit for Cousin Eddie — if Cousin Eddie actually wore tops. It’s also perfect for anyone in your life who watches Christmas Vacation like it’s their religion and acts like Chevy Chase if you don’t.
2. White Claw Christmas Sweatshirt, $23.99
We keep thinking there will be a moment when White Claw will get old but as of publication, it hasn’t happened yet. It definitely makes planning holidays easier – go straight from your White Claw Halloween costume to this ugly Christmas sweatshirt.
3. Taco Bell Christmas Sweater, $59.90 at Boxlunch.
If tacos aren’t on your Christmas list then, frankly, you just don’t love tacos enough. And, after all the wassailing, you know you’ll find us in the Taco Bell drive thru. Don’t @ us — we don’t make the rules. Except the rule about not @ing us. We made that one.
4. Light Up Bob Ross Ugly Christmas Sweater, $44.99+
It’s impossible to be anything but cheerful when you’re wearing this Bob Ross sweater equipped with light-up happy trees.
5. Kurt Cobain Christmas Sweatshirt, $17.95
This punny take on “Smells Like Teen Spirit” would have Kurt Cobain spinning in his grave if he hadn’t already succumbed to vertigo from all the collegiate a cappella versions of his songs.
6. LGBTQ+ Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt, $17.95
7. Breaking Bad Christmas Sweatshirt, $17.95
Scrooge is so 1800s Christmas. Display your holiday humbug 2000s-style with this Bah Heisenberg jumper.
Since tacky sweaters are now in, we think it’s high time for cat ladies to have their moment. Not only is this the most stylish piece of clothing we own, but it also hides cat hair and most wine spills.
9. Ugly Krampus Sweater, $49.95+
Show up to your family’s Christmas dinner or Zoom celebration wearing this Krampus sweater, giving everyone fodder to continue questioning your life choices.
10. 3D T-Rex Christmas Sweater, $65.95+
Dinosaurs are a Christmas sweater theme we fully support. This one doubles as a stuffy and is our only huggable friend.
11. Flamingo Christmas Sweater, $54.99
The thing about most so-called ugly Christmas sweaters is that they’re not really that bad. Luckily, this one bucks the trends, mixing Santa with Miami “cool” for a pastel-hued abomination and making it a stronger contender for the best one on the list.
12. Reindeer Christmas Sweater, $27.99
We’re well aware that this reindeer likely has an Instagram account and that it is more popular than ours.
13. Alien Abduction Christmas Sweater, $61.18
We love that this concept — aliens insulting poor Santa while beaming him into their ship — has no precedent and very little scientific evidence that it ever took place. Like the moon landing, but without the billions of dollars spent to deceive us.
14. Evergreen Christmas Sweater, $27
An ugly Christmas sweater for those of us who have no problem wearing the same thing over and over? How very (ever)green of you.
15. Naughty List Light Up Christmas Sweater, $49.99
Princesses already get more than their fair share of attention. Show your appreciation for your favorite Disney villains in this Christmas sweater. I mean, have you seen Maleficent? Because we haven’t and we want to know what it’s about.
Just like ranch dressing, this sweater goes with everything. Especially kitten heels.
17. Octopus Ugly Christmas Sweater, $44.99
This vibrant green octopus sweater is for all the cephalopod lovers out there.“Cephalopod” was our word-of-the-day calendar word for today.
18. Sleigher Christmas Sweater, $23.95.
We went with this one for our metal-themed punny Christmas sweater. Runner-up: White Christmas Snake.
This reindeer sweater comes with flashing, motion-activated LED lights and a whole bunch of confidence.
20. Hipster Ugly Christmas Sweater, $55
This avocado and hummus sweater is fit for Millennials — if you can’t eat it, wear it!
For friends that don’t seem to realize that other shows exist besides The Office, there’s this Dreaming of a Dwight Christmas sweater. Now they can re-watch the series for, like, the 20th time — but this time they’ll do it at least partially clothed.
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