We’re bringing you more funny tweets from women on the web and this week, our spotlight is on Rads aka @FeelingEuphoric!
The 23-year-old cappuccino expert from New Jersey has two cats, Romeo and Titus, who take up her time when she’s not cranking out hilarious jokes in the form of funny tweets.
Mads wants you to know that her last meal would be the volcano from Rainforest Cafe, “so that everybody would have to yell “vooooolcano!” when it came out, because group participation is important.”
25 Funny Tweets from @FeelingEuphoric
1. Gotta follow the rules.
[being chased by killer]
ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) April 19, 2018
2. How romantic.
ME: I have an appointment for 1:30
RECEPTIONIST: may I have your last name?
ME: omg *tearing up* yes, I’ll marry you
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) March 24, 2018
3. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Shoot for the moon. If you miss, here's a gentle reminder that the moon's diameter is 3,475km and you could not have fucked this up more
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) April 8, 2015
4. Indeed.
Yes it do be pic.twitter.com/ZqrQdZOBza
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) March 18, 2019
5. GET IT RIGHT!
villain: ironic that the one who shot you is your English professor!
me *dying*: actually it's coincidental
v *tearing up*: …you passed
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) August 6, 2017
6. Cooler than cool, let’s be honest.
I turn to my freezer as I fill up an ice cube tray with water. "Hey, can you do me a solid?"
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) September 16, 2017
7. I’m committed.
"Treat yourself," they say.
"No, wait—not like that—"
But it is too late. I have baked myself into an eclair
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) August 18, 2017
8. I’m baby.
*walking out of the bathroom with a pregnancy test* honey… WE’RE baby
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) March 26, 2019
9. Genius.
who called guys touching their wood masturbation and not lumberjack
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) May 26, 2019
10. Gotta do what you gotta do.
I just left an entire party to get out of a conversation lmao
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) May 4, 2019
11. Understandable.
ME: *declining a call* yikes nope phone calls make me too anxious, millennial problems am I right ha ha
[meanwhile]
GAME SHOW HOST: sorry, that was your only chance to phone a friend
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) March 14, 2019
12. Important question.
THERAPIST: listen, I really need you to relax
ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) February 25, 2019
13. What a twist.
Left my fiancé at the altar. The relationship is over, but the human sacrifice went perfectly
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) February 21, 2019
14. Reasonable dessert.
just a little midnight snack 🙂 pic.twitter.com/YJGzk6giKx
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) June 29, 2018
15. Really though.
[before handbaskets were invented]
her: go to hell
me: how
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) December 11, 2018
16. I need some space.
ME: can i make a withdrawal
TELLER: from checking or savings?
ME: i was thinking from my family
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) October 10, 2018
17. The best kind of spirits.
PSYCHIC: *rummaging through alcohol cabinet* are there spirits here
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) October 18, 2019
18. Are we going to Hell for this one?
JESUS: *sending nude* this is my body
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) October 18, 2019
19. Yeah, what’s going on there?
don’t care who let the cat out of the bag. who’s puttin cats in bags
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) September 28, 2019
20. Everything gets better with more dogs.
[The Odyssey except everyone is a dog]
SIRENS: awOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooOOOOoooo
ODYSSEUS: *furiously tugging on leash* aawwwOOOOOooooooo
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) April 8, 2018
21. The hardest.
22. I’m doing it correctly, right?
[teaching my boyfriend cards]
ME: the blue ones represent logic, the yellow are morality & order, the green use instinct & interdependence, and the red value chaos & impulse
HIM: *frantically flipping through UNO instruction booklet*
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) January 21, 2018
23. It just feels right.
BOSS: is your make up tattooed on?
ME: yeah it's exhausting to have to put it on every single morning
BOSS: why a clown though
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) September 29, 2017
24. Lesson learned the hard way.
Things I learned while watching my friend’s fish:
1. they don’t like bath bombs
2. they die— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) February 22, 2018
25. Yep, still got it.
My friend says I’m self-absorbed, so I took a long, hard look at myself. Beautiful
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) February 22, 2018
I can be found on Twitter at @macmccanntx or at my site, Mac McCann.
I’ve written hundreds of articles on a wide variety of topics. My work has been published in more than a dozen publications, including The Dallas Morning News, The Chicago Tribune, Newsday, The Houston Chronicle, The Seattle Times, Complex, The Charlotte Observer, Sun-Sentinel, The Austin American-Statesman, Reason, Austin Chronicle, Hawaii Tribune-Herald, Dallas Observer, OC Weekly, The La Crosse Tribune, The Intelligencer, The South Bend Tribune, Phoenix New Times, and more.
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