Whether you’re preparing for an upcoming ugly sweater contest or just want to show up your obnoxious cousin at the family party, we found some of the ugliest and just plain hilarious Christmas sweaters money can buy. No, candy canes are not a form of currency. We do accept pie, however.
When selecting a funny Christmas sweater, you have a plethora of options to choose from. Some feature pop culture icons like Cardi B and Dwight Schrute, while others are interactive and require a level of dexterity that becomes harder with each glass of Trader Joe’s Eggnog Liqueur.
Give them as gifts for a Mrs. Weasley moment, or don them yourself to be the life of the party. If you’re not on the naughty list already, some of these will put you there. It’s more fun here anyway. We have Kohl’s cash. And Bitcoin.
Funny Christmas Sweaters
1. Tipsy Elves Classic Holiday Characters Sweater
Is this… cannibalism? We’re not sure and Armie Hammer isn’t answering his phone. But we do know that if icing doesn’t make you feel this way, you’re not eating enough of it.
2. Merry Crisis Ugly Christmas Sweater, $23.99
Which crisis are we talking about here? Never mind, just add it to the pile. We’re gonna make a fort out of them later!
3. Star Wars The Mandalorian The Child Christmas Lights Sweater, $36.90
May the Force be with you as you answer questions about your love life for the hundredth time this holiday season.
4. Tipsy Elves Drinking Game Ugly Christmas Sweater, $64.95
This interactive sweater is perfect for extroverts and anyone who doesn’t mind having balls thrown at them all night.
5. Home Alone Kevin! Sweatshirt, $24.99
Before she was Moira Rose, Catherine O’Hara played straight-laced Kate McAllister. Still iconic, just with fewer wigs.
6. Santa Claws Sweatshirt, $32.85
Santa is quite a law-breaker, so we feel he’d appreciate this White Claw-inspired jumper. Make sure you sign our petition to help him get off his latest B&E charge.
7. Cats for Everybody Funny Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt, $37.03
It’s the Santa nobody asked for, but we imagine Zyrtec is thrilled. Gift it to your favorite cat lover, or let your own cat co-opt it as their new bed.
8. Tipsy Elves Too Lit Light Up Ugly Christmas Sweater, $64.95
Send a message to your Christmas lights this season. You didn’t teach them how to read last year for nothing. Bonus: it comes in sizes up to 5XL.
9. Tipsy Elves All is Calm All is Dwight Sweater, $49.95
Before you order this, think: ‘would an idiot do that?’ The answer doesn’t matter because blue brings out your eyes.
10. LookHuman There is No Christmas Cheer Without Christmas Beer Pullover, $23.99
This funny Christmas sweater is a great gift for the person who uses more words than necessary to describe the taste of beer. We get it. You like Budweiser.
11. Chillin’ With My Snowmies Sweatshirt
Shh… don’t tell the Heat Miser. Last time he reported us to Mother Nature, and that’s how we met your mother. Your baby pictures are adorable!
12. Cardi B + Megan Thee Stallion WAP Ugly XMAS Sweater + Mask, $24.49
This funny Christmas sweater comes with a mask so you can hide your disappointment that you got socks again. The ones with the holes work fine!
13. LookHuman OK Boomer Ugly Christmas Sweater, $23.99
Wear this sweatshirt around your grandparents and wield it whenever the conversation turns political. Participation trophies encouraged.
14. Funny Christmas Party Sweater, $24.20
It smells like Christmas spirit. Or maybe that’s just the tequila. Or hand sanitizer. We can never tell these days.
15. Tipsy Elves Yellow Snow Sweater
Reminder: don’t eat the yellow snow.
16. Ugly Christmas Party Reindeer Gainz Sweater
No pain, no presents, right?
17. Oh Snap! Gingerbread Man Cookie Sweatshirt
Shrek the halls in a throwback to this movie moment. Oh no, we have to eat the rest of him. Darn.
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Let’s eat cake is probably my favourite site.