Another week, more tweets. That’s how it works, right? Each week, we share some of our favorite funny tweets written by women and this week is no different. And, not just because time means nothing and all the days have blended together since March.
25 Funny Tweets by Women
1. We’re not sure if we feel attacked or seen.
Having ADHD is cool because it's like, alright, I'm going to sit down, focus and write a tweet but first, I need to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen but my favorite mug is actually in the bedroom on the bookshelf that I should take a second to organize alphabetically
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) September 26, 2020
2. He’s not having a good Monday.
This is so fucking embarrassing for that alligator https://t.co/ezhKSqep1X
— G. L. DiVittorio (@ginadivittorio) September 20, 2020
3. We miss holidays.
Me after a regular weekend: Back to the grind
Me after a 3-day weekend: How now shall I labor when I've grown accustomed to my rightful place among the leisure class
— Hi, it's Abby. Yep (@abbycohenwl) September 8, 2020
4. Oh look, it’s us doing all the work.
dudes will literally be like hey how are you
— alexa (@mariokartdwi) September 21, 2020
wait so we’re just gonna keep posting to instagram and then we die?
— aida osman (@shutupaida) September 13, 2020
6. But it’s so good.
every morning i wake up in hell and make my stupid little coffee pic.twitter.com/rPbw5oL2sC
— so….what now? (@Muna_Mire) September 12, 2020
7. Also quicksand.
idk why as a child i thought leeches would be a bigger problem for me
— kaytamine (@fleetwood__max) September 19, 2020
8. We’ll make an exception for that 12-foot-tall Home Depot Skeleton tho.
Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It’s terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.
— Dea Poirier (@deapoirierbooks) September 19, 2020
9. Hey friend!
Who are the siblingless people writing “hey sis!” and “hey bro!” into every movie and tv show
— Maybe: Lauren Ashley Smith (@msLAS) September 6, 2020
10. To the Spotify!
new Fleet Foxes AND Sufjan Stevens at once is like autumn on steroids
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) September 25, 2020
11. But can you make it a podcast?
You know your friends have heard enough of your shit when they recommend a book.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) September 28, 2020
12. We’re very good at posing for pictures.
me after begging my friends to take a picture of me pic.twitter.com/rm237EkQEw
— cai (@myhandsbecold) August 15, 2020
13. Returning in 2021 (maybe).
"Are we still on?" – An attempt to cancel
— Childless MILF (@jewelnotjule) September 10, 2020
14. Pretty much.
a relationship should be 50/50. 50% sharkboy 50% lavagirl
— elise navidad (@crocfanpage) September 25, 2020
15. Who needs an MCU film this year when we’ve got Chris Evans’s Instagram?
nature is healing https://t.co/CByLe6XPjT
— ᴇᴍ 🎄 (@sheparrrd) September 23, 2020
16. Those recipes never call for enough.
recipe: use two cloves of garlic
me: got it pic.twitter.com/WdfXwfXxwg
— monyee • 周敏儀 • (@monyeeart) August 17, 2020
17. Who needs Columbia Journalism School when you’ve got gel pens?
I am completely out of glitter glue and confetti flowers pic.twitter.com/c5rURksh3c
— Sara Just (@sarajust) September 24, 2020
18. Oh goodie.
really messed up that once you finally reply to someone's email, your reward is that they send you another email
— Anna Menta (@annalikestweets) September 22, 2020
19. 2020 in a nutshell.
"can u multitask" yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time
— Heidii😋 (@juicyyheidii) September 21, 2020
Everyone: Wow, I love your official animal.
Aussies: Thanks, it has pockets.
— smerobin (@smerobin) June 12, 2020
21. No we don’t want to share the hot tub, thanks.
goodbye hot girl summer,
hello fat bear autumn pic.twitter.com/DVOIGsZ40Q
— Lucia Fasano (@lucia_fasano) September 28, 2020
22. Not this year, no.
Sure, delayed gratification is great, but have you ever tried immediate gratification
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) September 28, 2020
23. Omgggg we totally don’t do that.
girls will add extra letters to words to not look mean
— erica (@SimpinEgirl) September 24, 2020
do you look like you just got off of splash mountain after washing your face or are you normal
— annie bananie (@annacatkopsky) September 20, 2020
25. It’s almost spoopy season.
what if we kissed…. in the goth-o-lantern bucket……haha just kidding…… unless? pic.twitter.com/N1jRGFulAB
— 🦷garbage sprite🦷 new layout!! (@bunniexblood) September 11, 2020
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