There are a few easy ways to spot a Millennial. The aroma of crushing debt. The inability to let go of cheugy things like “Rosé All Day” wine glasses. An unhealthy relationship with social media. All which may have led to a collection of Instagram products.
You know the ones. The branding is unmatched. The crisp aesthetic is everything you wish your life could be. You’ve considered creating a restraining order for the ad algorithm. Even if you don’t think you spend a lot of time on Instagram, you’ve definitely seen these Millennial products. And too much of your ex’s new relationship.
Why Millennials? Because there’s no better generation for brands to target than the one who’s constantly searching for something that distracts them from a job that under appreciates them. The upside? Most of these products don’t totally suck.
Peruse through this list to see how many of these Millennial and Instagram brands have infiltrated your feed. And obvious warning, even thinking about these brands ensures that you’ll get bombarded with ads.
We don’t make the rules. But we will take credit when you actually end up loving some of these products.
How Many of These Millennial Instagram Products Do You Have?
1. Allbirds
The unofficial shoe of Silicon Valley, in large part because they can be worn without socks. Who has time to create the next Internet boom when you have to pick out socks and underwear?
Whether you choose their sporty shoe or their slip-ons, Allbirds‘ eco-friendly shoes show that you care about the environment and your comfort. Equally, we’re sure…
2. Quip
I have no idea why you would need a Bluetooth-enabled toothbrush, but man is it nice to have an electric toothbrush that doesn’t sound like a jackhammer. Add on sleek metallic designs and the color coordinated floss, mouthwash, and gum containers, and you have a company that finally made dentistry cool again. Err…cool.
3. Our Place Always Pan
Not into cooking? Who cares! Your kitchen will look so good with this gorgeous pan that it’ll have a spread in Architectural Digest in a week’s time. Who cares if it’s for the Slovakia edition?
This pan has a tighter grip on the IG algorithm than Thanos had on the Infinity Gauntlet. So sorry in advance for the next 10 weeks of ads you’re about to see. When they break you, pick the green.
4. Billie Razor
By sending you monthly refills, this brand is doing the Lord’s work by eliminating the need to ask a store attendee to unlock the razor cabinet. We’ve built up quite a layer of fur because that social anxiety is real. And there’s another square in Millennial bingo!
But forget about the convenience and just look at the colors! The magnetic wall holder! The colors! And who doesn’t love a gender neutral name? It’s all about the important things when it comes to choosing your razor.
5. Away
Are you even a travel influencer if your carry-on doesn’t cost more than your plane ticket? Away makes sure this isn’t a concern with luggage that’s somehow super recognizable and also very minimalist.
Coming in a range of sizes and a spectrum of perfectly palatable colors, this brand created a travel aesthetic that says, “Yes, I do get paid too much for my job that gives me unlimited vacation.” But in a way that’s chiller than those people with the 10-piece Louis Vuitton set.
6. Athletic Greens
Any marketing team that can make a glass of mold-colored liquid seem palatable, and better yet, desirable, honestly deserves our money. Or at least the spare change that’s been floating around in our car since 2004.
Although “Whole Food Dietary Supplement Powder” doesn’t sound super sexy, the bold packaging paired with the ceramic can make anyone want to be healthy. For a day at least.
But fair warning: rarely in their eye-catching advertising do they mention the taste. I’m not saying that drinking a glass of this is worse than shoving a bunch of green leaves in your mouth…I’m just saying it’s easier.
7. Ritual
What will you choose? The blue pill, the red pill, or the yellow pill that tastes like mint? I haven’t faced a decision this hard since both tuba players in my high school’s band asked me to prom junior year.
Immediately recognizable by their bright yellow color scheme, Ritual seems to balance the best of both worlds. They promote an approachable healthy lifestyle, while also having some serious science to back their multivitamin and other products.
Ritual is like that effortlessly cool girl who’s really good at math but also slays at volleyball. You know…not the kind of girl who gets asked to prom by two tuba players.
8. Bala Bangles
If we had a dime for every time we spent money on fitness gear that we used twice before losing it in our closet, we would have Bala bangles. And no dimes because we spent them on some other fitness gear.
You can have the trendiest home gym in your apartment complex by filling it with their weighted bangles, rings, beam, bars, and more. Obviously all their items come in the classes muted Millennial hues, with a few rainbow and glitter options for good measure.
Staring at them counts as a workout, right? We’re working on our Jedi tricks.
9. Glossier
A few years ago you couldn’t look anywhere without seeing the Glossier brand. We were as shocked as anyone to find it in our Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Even though the brand has quieted down slightly, the clean branding and affordable products makes it certain that there’s always a tube of Boy Brow rolling around someone’s drawer.
And as more and more Millennials cross the line into their 30s, what more could they need than a reliable skin care and beauty line? I mean sure, we could use less pollution and cheaper housing, but a face free of adult acne is nice, too!
10. Hatch
If you’ve struggled with sleep in any way, you’ve probably stumbled onto the Hatch clock/sound machine/sunrise alarm/controller of the Iron Man suit.
The Hatch products help you manage your stressful snoozes by setting a sleep schedule, including evening light, soothing white noise, and a gentle light alarm that gradually gets brighter to wake your body up. And hopefully it’ll help you stop stumbling into things in the middle of the night.
11. Daily Harvest
Starting off as a smoothie cup subscription box, Daily Harvest is bow a leader in healthy food for any meal, snack, or dessert. They have harvest bowls and flatbreads. They have oat bowls and chia bowls. They have cookie dough bites, ice cream, lattes, and more.
And the kicker? It’s all vegan…but they don’t even lead with that!
I know. A vegan brand that doesn’t brag about being vegan. Is it a trick? Will they eventually come to collect our first born? TBH, I really don’t care. I’m going to keep devouring my Chocolate + Ooey, Gooey, Midnight Fudge ice cream.
12. Brooklinen
There have been a few bedding Instagram brands vying for attention, and Brooklinen definitely was a shiny object in the pile of fool’s gold. From bed sheets to bath towels and rugs to loungewear, they’ll gladly take over your entire home faster than a swarm of termites.
Are they good quality? Sure! Do they look nice? Please. Zuckerberg wouldn’t let them last a day if they didn’t. If only Eduardo Saverin had nailed down the clean and casual style sooner.
13. Mejuri
Oh, you shopped for small gold earrings once in 2017? Mejuri has convinced all your favorite celebrities to model their products, both on your Instagram feed and in your dreams. A helix piercing really works for Paul Rudd!
Mejuri has done an incredible job of subtly infiltrating Instagram feeds to promote their “golden hour” jewelry. Sure, it’s on the pricier side, but it’s good enough quality to not turn your fingers green. You can only pull off the Wicked Witch of the West look for so long before it gets weird.
14. Ruggable
Having a washable rug is like having a dress with pockets. You can’t have someone complement it without saying, “Thanks! It can go in the washer!”
Although this may be a brand that only pops up when you’re trying to redecorate, they know how to jump on an opportunity. They lure you in with a cute pattern and range of sizes, and then you can’t get them out of your feed.
But I guess there are worse things than being able to finally wash out that spot your cat won’t stop peeing on.
15. Sugar Bear Hair
Despite all the drama, you can’t have a list about Instagram brands without acknowledging Sugar Bear Hair. At one point in time, nearly all of the big bloggers were promoting their products, especially their hair vitamins. Even big names like the Kardashian Jenners and Vanessa Hudgens got in on the action. For some reason, Dwayne Johnson didn’t make the cut.
It has a cute name. The colorful packaging is recognizable and looks nice on your bathroom counter. Does it work? I don’t know. But I am sure they taste better than those chalky Flintstone vitamins.
I’m a millennial and I have zero. Am I banned from millennialhood now?!
Yes.