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Home » Lifestyle

The Craziest Things In This Year’s Goop Gift Guide

By Chelsea Frank | November 18, 2021 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links that we collect a share of sales from. Click here for more details.
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Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Bubble Gum Gym
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Airplane Seat Cover
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - 18-Karat Yellow-Gold River Bracelet with Diamond Link
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Omakase Berry
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Passe-Passe Weekly Baby Socks
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Pearl Ear Seed Kit
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Awakening the Pleasure Body Online Course 
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - This Smells Like My Vagina Candle

The 2021 Goop Guide has arrived, and it delivers on being the most “WTF” collection of gift ideas you’ll likely find this year. Titles like “The Ridiculous but Awesome Gift Guide” lead me to believe they’re in on the joke.

Who wants the same boring old stocking stuffers when you could opt for something truly iconic, like the ever-practical $10,500 Chanel sled? Or, why go to Michael’s when you could turn yourself into a sexy bow for $90?

Whether you want to peep this round up for a few LOLs, or are looking to be inspired for weird sh*t to gift your loved ones, here’s our favorite and craziest Goop recommendations of 2021.
Goop Gift Guide 2021

 

The Funniest Things In 2021’s Goop Gift Guide

1. Awakening the Pleasure Body Online Course, $399

We love this virtual, six month module-based self-study program on personal sensuality that says, “you’re absolutely terrible in bed and I’ve had it.” Subtle. Real subtle.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Awakening the Pleasure Body Online Course 
Available at Michaela Boehm.

 

2. Pearl Ear Seed Kit, $45

Acupuncture is a wonderful ancient Chinese medical practice. But this acupuncture-inspired kit of “ear seeds,” (AKA tiny, twenty-four-karat gold-plated seeds that you place on your inner ear pressure points), turns your ears into True Religion jeans.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Pearl Ear Seed Kit
Available at Goop.

 

3. This Smells Like My Vagina Candle, $75

Goop calls this vagina candle “a funny, beautifully unexpected scent.” Because that’s just what I want from my candle: to make my entire house smell like a brothel.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - This Smells Like My Vagina Candle
Available at Goop.

 

4. Passe-Passe Weekly Baby Socks, $240

It’s not just the price tag for baby socks that offends me. It’s that some baby out there is going to own Hermès before I do.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Passe-Passe Weekly Baby Socks
Available at Hermes.

 

5. The Oshēn’s Twelve, $108

I guess omega-3s are the new black. Call me old fashioned, but in my day we sent our friends a 12 pack of beer, not a 12 pack of frozen salmon.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - The Oshēn's Twelve
Available at Oshen.

 

6. Psychic School with Deganit Nuur, $33.33 and up

Nothing says “holiday spirit” like gifting your loved one a psychic training and “journey to lightness” course. Be honest, the only reason to turn your bestie into a psychic is to find out if Chris from accounting is ever gonna ask you out.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Psychic School with Deganit Nuur
Available at Nuurvana.

 

7. Omakase Berry, $50

Wanna spend $50 on 11 strawberries that are grown in a vertical farm by bees and AI robots? Wanna also throw us $50 on Venmo? Cool.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Omakase Berry
Available at Oishii.

 

8. 18-Karat Yellow-Gold River Bracelet with Diamond Link, $25,700

I’m living for this eighteen-karat yellow-gold wide-link chain with a diamond encrusted link that Goop suggests “forwarding to your significant other” for gift ideas. No, babe, we’re not joking.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - 18-Karat Yellow-Gold River Bracelet with Diamond Link
Available at Goop.

 

9. Airplane Seat Cover, $59

Can you imagine being so cringe you’re going to bring your own airplane seat cover? I get that we’re all freaked out by germs, but you do not wanna be that person who’s holding up the onboarding process because you need to feng shui Alaska Airlines.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Airplane Seat Cover
Available at Goop.

 

10. Bubble Gum Gym, $55,000

For the practical price of $55,000, you can turn your baby into a CrossFit kid. The Bubble Gum Gym is inspired by traditional outdoor playgrounds, but only if you have, as Goop says, “Rich Mom Energy.” Are we surprised? Not even a little.
Goop Gift Guide 2021 - Bubble Gum Gym
Available at Circu.

  • Author
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Chelsea Frank
Chelsea Frank
Chelsea Frank is a comedy and travel writer born and bullied in Los Angeles, CA. When she's not flying to tropical islands for "work" or trying to get pregnant by hot Israelis, she's writing for places like Uproxx, TripSavvy, Thrillist, The Daily Beast, Reductress, and and for other comedians.

Chelsea has traveled to over 50 countries and has had every major third-world disease (but like, in a hot way). Follow her on Instagram and Twitter!
Chelsea Frank
Latest posts by Chelsea Frank (see all)
  • The Craziest Things In This Year’s Goop Gift Guide - November 18, 2021
  • 10 Food and Wine Pairings for Your Favorite Meals, Most of Which Are Pizza - November 3, 2020
  • 14 Types of Travel Bags to Help You Deal with Your Baggage - January 2, 2020
As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. This post may contain affiliate links from Amazon and other sites that we collect a share of sales from.
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