Your Horoscope for December

It’s the holidays, and we all know the reason for the season: Sagittarius. It’s the time of the year to give, share, and love, so get into the spirit by reading your always completely true monthly horoscopes for December 2018 2019.

If any below sound ominous, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Your Horoscope for December

Aries
Attempts to contact someone from your past could have unintended consequences. Forgive yourself for opening the gates of Hell, and take some time to water your houseplants.

Taurus
The holiday season has you feeling romantic. Keep an eye out for an appealing stranger. Could this be love? Or are you just being gaslighted again? Time will tell!

Gemini
You never know when your dark side will show up, Gemini. The stars suggest it’ll be just in time for the office Christmas party.

Cancer
Rocky times ahead for your romantic relationships! Hibernate inside and binge watch Love Actually to keep the drama at a minimum.

Leo
Things haven’t been going your way lately. Except your ex. Expect to cross paths with them on a night when the air is brisk and the moon is waning. Or Tuesday.

Virgo
Your ruling planet needs you. Return to Mercury at once.

Libra
You could be on the brink of a major move. Enjoy the home-cooked meals, and tell your parents we say hi.

Scorpio
Remember that some of the best gifts don’t have to cost a thing, like caroling. Go spread some holiday cheer.

Sagittarius
Happy birthday, Sagittarius! That is all.

Capricorn
Something is bothering you today, but as you board the plane, you’re not sure what. Could you be forgetting something? Where’s Kevin?!

Aquarius
A rush of communication heightens romance. You may feel that it’s finally time to reveal a secret about yourself. No, not that one.

Pisces
Expect strangers from Christmas past, present, and future to visit you. This could be a great opportunity to change. Ignore it. You’re perfect the way you are.

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Sean Peecook

Sean Peecook is a tall and silly copywriter and comedian from Chicago, Illinois. See him on the stage at Second City, or at the theater watching the next Paddington movie alone. You can find him on Twitter at @notgreganymore.