Before you head out on your next flight, ask yourself two questions: What does your airport outfit say about you, and did you pack enough snacks? Not to spoil anything, but the answer for number two is always no.
As for the outfit part, we don’t mean what your outfit is actually saying. We know that most clothes can’t talk.
But since you won’t say a word to most of the people you pass as you sprint to your gate (the right one, this time), your travel outfit is going to give them a sense of who you are. And possibly what you ate for lunch.
What Does Your Airport Outfit Say About You?
What vibe do you give off when you travel? Are you saying that you overslept and your plane boards in ten minutes, even though you haven’t even made it through TSA? Or does your look say “I’m a boss stylist and I’ve had this outfit planned for weeks”? Let’s decode all the different looks.
1. Flip Flops and Sweats
Your look lets everyone know that you don’t really care about an airport outfit and you’re all about comfort. Also, you clearly don’t care about germs, because going barefoot through security would definitely be a challenge event on Fear Factor.
2. Jeans and a Designer Tee
This says “I’ve got some money, and I’m definitely not flying coach.” Bonus points if your carry-on bag is designer, too. But sis, jeans on a plane? Have you talked to your therapist about how much you hate comfort? Or at least your cat?
3. A Jumpsuit
Jumpsuits are handy because they don’t require the extra brain power of actually coordinating a top with a bottom. Work smarter, not harder.
But if we see you in an airport wearing a jumpsuit, we’re impressed with your ability to either maneuver around those tiny plane lavatories or your bladder control. Are you a contortionist, or are you a demon from The Good Place? Spoiler alert.
4. Dress and Cardigan
At this point, we’re convinced airlines have a running bet on how many people they can freeze out on planes. Pairing a cardigan with a sundress says “I am going somewhere warm, but this isn’t my first rodeo.”
Seasoned pros know your sweater will double as a blanket. And a saddle!
5. Athletic Wear and Blazer
When you’ve got to hoop at 3 and a business meeting at 4. This look gives you the best of both worlds, saying, “I can get down on the basketball court and in the courtroom.” We both scared and turned on.
6. A Suit
You know this type – power walking through the terminal, briefcase in hand, and talking way too loudly on the phone in what seems to never be a pleasant conversation.
And although they may look super busy on their important business travel, they will happily take the time to tell you what their job is. For the entire flight. Through turbulence. When you have your headphones on.
7. Bachelorette Tee
If you see a group of three or more women wearing matching tees with corny sayings and hyped up on overpriced airport Starbucks, do yourself a favor and a try to keep your distance. Unless you haven’t experienced getting second-hand drunk from margarita fumes. It’s worth doing at least once.
8. Sunglasses and Heels
If you catch someone in sunglasses and high heels in an airport, you might want an autograph because 9/10 they’re a celebrity. Or they just got Lasik and are trying to build their calf muscle definition.
9. Matching Sweats
This airport outfit allows for max comfort while still making you look fly while you fly. This person is up-to-date on fashion trends, is super excited to be able to travel again, but will absolutely not give up their quarantine outfit. Or their quarantine sourdough starter. It stole our upgrade for first class.
10. Hawaiian Shirt
This look screams “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” This person’s vacation started the second they left work, and they aren’t waiting until they reach the destination to get the party started. At which point, they will clap. Ah…and we almost accepted their Facebook request.
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