100 Cute Valentine’s Day Jokes to Send Your Crush

When it comes to Valentine’s Day jokes, they’re usually pretty cheesy. At their best, they’re usually cute puns, and at the worst, they’re terrible pick up lines. Either way, you’ll find plenty to share with your partner or friends. Or even your dog if they have a sense of humor. Unlike our Great Dane. He never cracks a smile.

If you need some cute jokes for your cards, cheesy puns for your Instagram captions, or a pick up line we definitely don’t recommend using in real life, here are plenty of funny Valentine jokes for February.

The Best Valentine’s Day Jokes

1. Why did the coffee date with his creamer? They just blended so well!
2. Why did the computer take a long time to load a love letter? It had a slow modem.
3. What do you call an alien’s Valentine? A space-gram.
4. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
5. What’s sweet but also that can also be orange and delicious? Crush.
6. Why did the cookie go on a date with the pie? They wanted to see if their pastry would rise.
7. Why did the cat give its girlfriend a necklace? Because it was purr-fect.
8. What kind of flowers shouldn’t you gift your girlfriend? Cauliflowers.
9. Did you hear about the porcupine who was near-sighted? He fell in love with a pincushion.
10. Why did the seagull fly over the bay? To see its Valentine.
11. Are you from Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
12. What do you call two cacti in love? Prickly sweethearts.

13. Did you hear about the love affair between the powdered sugar and milk? It was icing on the cake.
14. Why did the cookie bring his girlfriend to the bakery? To get a little crumb of affection.
15. Why did the athlete bring his girlfriend to the race? To give her a running start on their relationship.
16. What do you call a penguin in love? A Valentine on ice.
17. Did you hear about the two radios that got married? The reception was amazing.
18. Why was the ghost sad on Valentine’s Day? He didn’t have a boo.
19. What did the baker say to his wife on V-Day? Gimme some sugar!
20. How did one drum tell the other about its feelings? My heart beats for you.
21. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? Let’s multiply our love.
22. How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond? I’m nuts about you.
23. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
24. Why did Cupid miss the target on Valentine’s Day? He must have been feeling a little aimless.

25. What did the computer say to the mouse on Valentine’s Day? You’re the one I click with.
26. How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts? Become single.
27. What did the love-obsessed candle say when it met the one? I found the perfect match!
28. Why did the bicycle propose to the kickstand? Because they just clicked.
29. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Yes, it’s February 14.
30. Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.
31. How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine’s Day? If it’s love at first bite.
32. Who is Cupid’s favorite rock band? Kiss.
33. I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
34. How did the telephone propose? With a ring.
35. What do you call two rabbits in bed? Snuggle-bunnies.
36. What did the valentine’s day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you’ll go places.
37. What’s the most romantic ship? Courtship.
38. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
39. If I were a cat, I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
40. Why did the magnet hit on the paper clip? He found her to be very attractive.
41. What did the wave say to the shore on Valentine’s Day? You rock my world.
42. Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
43. Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable.”

44. Why did the music teacher buy his girlfriend a guitar? Because he wanted to give her a string of his heart.
45. What did the chocolate say to the sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? You’re the one I melt for.
46. What do you call two birds who just got engaged? Lovebirds.
47. Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you.
48. What did the scientist say to her valentine? I think of you periodically.
49. You must be a broom, because you just swept me off my feet.
50. What did one flame say on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match.
51. What did the cookie say to the milk on Valentine’s Day? You’re the perfect dip for me.
52. What did the moon say to the sun on Valentine’s Day? You light up my life.
53. Why are artichokes so beloved? They’re known for their hearts.
54. Are you the Internet? Because I’m feeling a connection.

The Best Valentine Puns

1. What did the graham cracker say to the chocolate? I love you s’more and s’more each day.
2. What do you call a colorful heart that loves books? Well-red.
3. How did the orca ask out her date to be her Valentine? Whale you be mine?
4. What did one piece of toast say to the other? You’re my butter half!
5. What the watermelon say to the other? You’re one in a melon.
6. What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day? I love you a watt.
7. What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re a big dill to me.
8. What did the volcano say to the other? I lava you.
9. What kind of architecture makes people fall in love? Heart deco.
10. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental.
11. Why was the fork disappointed on Valentine’s Day? All they wanted to do was spoon.
12. What did one cappuccino say to their shy crush? Espresso yourself.
13. Why do air fresheners love Valentine’s Day? They’re so scent-imental.
14. What do olives say to each other on Valentine’s Day? Olive you.
15. What do you say about two fish getting married? They made it o-fish-al.
16. What did one recliner say to the other? I chair-ish you.
17. How did the vegetable ask for a date? Peas be my Valentine.

18. How do sheep share their feelings on February 14? Tell each other “I love ewe.”
19. What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you watts and watts.
20. What did the raspberry say to her wife on Valentine’s Day? I love you berry much.
21. What did the French chef make his wife for Valentine’s Day breakfast? A quiche.
22. What is a vampire’s date called? His ghoul-friend.
23. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.
24. What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium? Guppy love.
25. Which type of flower is the best at giving smooches? Tulips.
26. What did one sheep say to the other? Ewe complete me.
27. What did the drum say to the other on February 14? My heart beats for you.
28. What did the ghost say to his Valentine’s date? You look so bootiful.
29. What did one oar say to the other? Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
30. What did one bee say to the other? Bee mine.

The Best Break Up Jokes to Probably Not Tell on Valentine’s

1. A physicist and biologist started dating but broke up. They had no chemistry!
2. Why did the artist break up with his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? He said she was always a little sketchy.
3. Why did the mermaid break up with her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day? He was just too shallow.
4. Why did the calendar break up with February? It was just too short.
5. Why did the pencil lead break up with the eraser on Valentine’s Day? It said it needed someone to write on.
6. Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day? Her heart wasn’t in it.

Cute Valentine’s Day Knock Knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s Valentine’s Day and I brought you a box of chocolates!
2. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dough. Dough who? Dough you want to be my Valentine?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita tell you that I love you.
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice be love that I am feeling right now?
6. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You tank I’m cute and funny enough to be your Valentine?
7. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I don’t care who knows it!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fur. Fur who? Fur you, I’d do anything.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Will. Will who? Will you marry me?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter together every day.

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Rebecca Swanner

Founder + Editor-in-Chief at Let's Eat Cake

Pleased to meet you. I'm the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Let's Eat Cake: The world's first smart, funny lifestyle site for women.

I've written or worked for a wide range of lifestyle sites and magazines, including Billboard, Nylon, Parade, Men's Journal, Us Weekly, Stuff, Blender, Beachbody, Alternative Press, Electronic Gaming Monthly, and more. See more on my LinkedIn.

On the baking side of things, I've run my own baking company and competed on Cupcake Wars, so hit me up with your baking questions! I respond fastest on Instagram where you can find me @letseatcakeblog

Want to know more? Here's my full bio.

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